Dear Memphis,
Thank you for the many adventures and lessons you taught us. We will never forgot our time we spent there or the people we met. Things in our lives will never be the same. We as a family have talked a lot about what we learned by living away from our family and living where we did. We learned a whole lot. I feared before I moved back that I would not be accepted anymore because I was certainly not the same person that I was when I moved out here; which was silly to think because I am the same person just more grown up.
If I think about it, when we moved to Memphis 3 years before, I was just hoping for a baby but had been trying for a good year now with no luck. I had never lived outside of the West coast. I had never been on my own in a way that it was hard for anyone to come help us; because we were so far away.
Over the next 3 years I had 2 babies. I learned what it was like to "think" I was going to lose one of them. I learned how to be a more confident person and that there isn't one way to raise a child and that I needed to figure that out really on my own. Because no child is the same and no mother is the same. Which makes life hard! I learned to be more patient and understanding of people, but at the same time not let them influence me.
I learned that "the way of life" is harder to break then anyone can think. And the more upset you are about someones "way of life" the harder it is going to be on you.
I learned what its like to live in the mission field. I learned a lot about the Urban culture of Memphis.
That times are tough, that people survive and that's they best they can do. And as frustrating as it is people are going to take care of themselves first. That no one is really against you but for themselves. I learned how hard peoples lives are and how good I have it.
I learned what its like to almost have Irish twins in a place where its weird to have many kids. I learned not to let peoples comments bother me but thank the lord for letting me have 2 healthy babies (that sometimes make me want to cry and hide in the corner cause I have no idea what I am doing). But at the same time to let people help you! So you don't feel like doing that.
I learned a lot about food, new ideas and recipes new culture of food. Its been really fun!
Most of all though, I have learned that heavenly father always knows what I need. Its easy when you live close to family to ask for help or to get help and not really consider where its coming from, or how they know. In the few years we lived in Logan there was a few times that I can think of that I realized his closeness to me, and his aid in my life. But living in Memphis I have never felt him so close before. A lot of it could be a new mom, or seeing it in peoples lives who struggle around me. But I am still in awe of the miracles and comforting spirit I felt over the 3 years in Memphis. I have countless stories of friends who could tell I just needed a meal, a break, or some kindness. People who I didnt think need to have me on there mind but for some reason did. Time after time the spirit showed me I was never alone.
One time, a time that sticks out to me the most; was when the Sister Missionaries just opened Midtown (for sisters) the called Michael because he was the assistant ward mission leader at the time but the ward mission leader was out of town. We invited them over, they didn't know a soul because they had never been to church yet. In fact one girl just left from the MTC. and it was almost dinner time already! Luckily I had just fed the elders and we had a bunch of meat left over so it was an easy meal. Anyways these 2 sweet sisters came over to my house. I loved them instantly!
It was august before Will was born. So I was hugely pregnant with a little baby. It was just after Brock really started to adjust from his meds but started struggling because he knew something was going on and I was stressed out.
Boy I was stressed out! I know a lot of it was really hormones, but I had good reason to be stressed out. I had no idea what I was doing with one. And constantly felt like I was failing and I was about to have another one.
neither sister had any idea and I hadn't shared it with them all through dinner. Sister Lunt asked if she could share a scripture she felt prompted to. D&C 78 17-18
17: Verily I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great the blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you.
18:And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingon is yours and the blessing thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
Well it hit me as hard as you can expected it and I spilled my guts to these poor girls. They were angels. She said afterwards that she was prompted to share it with me but was so confused why. She was like they are so put together. I laughed so hard when she said that. I was many things but never put together.
It was clear to me that I was being watched over. And the sister missionaries continued to watch over me. Coming to visit me at the most overwhelming times. And really seeing me at my worst but loving me, my messy home and kids in all.
Its clear to me I learned a lot in Memphis. that I grew a lot in Memphis.
